Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
