2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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