I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
