I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
