What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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