your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
