so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
