I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
