I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
