IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
