Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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