A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
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I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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