Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
