I want to walk on stilts...naked
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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