Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
