He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize