i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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