two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
