Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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