I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
