i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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