just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.