Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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