i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear