I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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