remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
