So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just puked most of my soul out..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
