Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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