you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
