if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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