It's Friday. Sex?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
