My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
