he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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