So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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