i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
