HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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