In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
