i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
