You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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