I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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