Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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