If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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