4 words: hood of his car
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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