his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So much rum. So many feels.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
