I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
