I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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