How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
