how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize