So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
