Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
no you cant smoke seaweed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
