3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
