Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
this just has baby written all over it
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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