New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
