remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
