i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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