dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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