dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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